"You are rolling the dice."
Bret Gillan writes:
It was one of the earliest games I played with Judd Karlman. It was a session of The Mountain Witch at a small mini-convention. I played a disgraced samurai who became a ronin after following his master’s order to kill all the children of a village for failure to pay taxes or something like that. He followed the order, then left.
So we’re playing this cool game, fighting raven spirits and ogres and things, and as my character climbs the mountain he’s haunted by the ghosts of the children he killed. He feels their hands touching them when he sleeps, he sees them staring out of shadows, etc. Finally, the samurai come to a clearing of dead trees and I narrate that the children all come out from the trees and they’re closing in on the samurai.
I say, “That’s it, he lays down his sword and he lets them kill him.” It was a fitting end and one I’d pretty much planned on.
Judd says, “No. Fuck no. You are rolling the dice. If you succeed they forgive you.”
I was pretty much stunned by the idea. I rolled. I succeeded. The children approached the samurai, who was ready to die, and laid their hands on him and whispered forgiveness to him and he broke down and cried.
It was this amazing, beautiful, hopeful transformative moment which is something that I experienced a lot when gaming with Judd. I always felt like there was someone else at the table who was a fan of my character, who understood my vision of the character, and helped to take me there even when the way was muddy to me.